


Best Wishes

by ruuutabaga



Series: Basket of Fruit [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Galaxy Wars, Gen, One Shot, POV Minor Character, POV Outsider, Probably Crack, Rated T for language, Silly, Slice of Life, Wat r tenses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6759901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruuutabaga/pseuds/ruuutabaga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accounting of those times in her life when Jessika Pava was quite sure she sensed a disturbance in the force. (No, she had not watched Galaxy Wars too many times, damn it)</p><p>Modern Day Business AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> HI! I wrote a thing! Again! Holy crapstick! :D
> 
> A note: I orginally had this from a chracter named Agnes. But I had a problem with Agnes. She only existed to be a side mention. Then I started writing this and started from her POV and realized that I didn't want a character I literally pulled out of my ass (I googled old lady names. Originally she was gonna be old, then I decided I wanted someone more vibrant and younger) to be essentially stealing the show. So I went with Jessika Pava, because she was essentially a blank slate.
> 
> The Prior Fic, In Flagrante Delicto has been edited to reflect these changes.
> 
> Edited by me, so all mistakes are my own. I reiterate, what the fuck even is a tense I DON'T REMEMBER HOW WORDS WORK.
> 
> Enjoy and thanks for reading!

There was something is in the air.  That was the only thing Jessika could think as she approached her desk.  A week long vacation had done her a lot of good, a trip to the beach where she had alternately worked on her tan and dug sand out of uncomfortable places.  Today was her first day back, as well as Ren’s.  She had no idea what his plans for his vacation had been, though he’d muttered something about his parents.  Her ride in on the bus had been no more eventful than public transportation tended towards.  So something had to be different in the office  It felt almost as if….  There was a disturbance in the force!

Mercy said she’d watched too much Galaxy wars.  She disagreed.

Snorting at herself, Jessika moved down the hallway.  Rounding the corner towards her desk, she stopped short as she noticed the very out of place object perched in between her desk and Ren’s door.

It was a fruit basket.  A very large one with artfully arranged apples and oranges, different types of citrus and pears, and was that a…  dragonfruit? If she recalled her high school cashiering job correctly.  A silver sign perched on thin wires above it, streamers dangled in curls. It was very sparkly.  But it was the words on the sign that made Jess stop and stare in disbelief.  ‘CONGRATULATIONS KYLO AND REY ON YOUR MARRIAGE.’

What did that even mean?

Oh, she understood the words alright.  She could read just fine.  It was the story behind them that was tripping her up.  Her and Kylo weren’t best friends or anything, but Jess had an awful habit of babbling to fill silence and Ren was often reticent at best; she was sure she had verbally vomited her life story at her boss more than once.  At first she’d assumed he wasn’t listening, letting her chatter wash over him while he hmm’d and grunted occasionally when she paused for a breath.  But then he’d gotten her a LUKE SKYWALKER JERSEY (SIGNED!!!!  HOW????) for Secretary Day and she realized that he _did_ listen and was also the BEST. BOSS. EVER.  Sorta.  He was still a dickhead sometimes, and she’d had to smooth over hurt feelings from other workers in the building on more than one occasion.

But he’d never made mention of a significant other, nor plans to get married.  And who the hell was Rey?  Was it a man or a woman?  Or other?  Rey was usually spelled Ray, wasn’t it?  Maybe he’d gotten tired of being alone and gone the Mail-Order bride route?  Or maybe he’d married a toaster.  She’d heard of stranger things.

Lost in her musing, Jessika almost didn’t hear the footsteps behind her and just barely managed to not jump when a heavy palm landed on her shoulder.

“Jessika, why are you just standing here?” Ren asked.  Jess just lifted one arm to point at the sparkly phenomenon in front of her, leaving her arm raised.  He followed her gesture, and Jess felt more than heard the sharp intake of breath and stiffening posture of her boss behind her.  She slowly rotated her head to chance a glance at him.  He looked like he usually did, tall and broad in a well cut suit, dark leather bag slung across his shoulders.  Two coffees in his hand.  And a blush that was suddenly working across his face, ending on the tips of his ears that peeked through his hair.

Well.  That was new.  

And maybe just a little bit adorable.

Ren finally seemed to gather himself.  He thrust the coffee at her which she numbly took from him and stomped past her, snagging one hand on the handle of the basket to drag it into his office behind him with a screech of metal across the tiled floor.

Jess could only stand there and stare at where he’d disappeared through his door.  She could hear the rustle of the plastic wrap of the basket, as well as many unflattering words of which the only one she could make out was “Fucking Hux.” and various other invectives and threats on his life.  Well.  She knew something was weird about the office today.  Maybe Ren would let her have that dragon fruit.

 

\------

 

Jessika once again felt a disturbance in the force.  She also didn’t care what Mercy said, she hadn’t watched Galaxy wars in close to a month and she had totally been due for a rewatch.  Or two.  Rounding the corner on her way back from her lunch break (Leftover meatloaf, Mercy’s grandmother’s recipe.  It was amazing.), she stopped short as she noticed a girl leaning casually against one corner of her desk.  

The girl really didn’t look like she was made for the building, not that Jess was a _snob_ or anything.  There was a dress code, is all.  Taller than her (but then again everyone was taller than Jessika, she had accepted this) with brown hair and a weird hairstyle with 3 buns in a vertical line.  Dark brown coveralls with the top folded down and the arms wrapped around her waist, a faded Alderann Institute of Technology t-shirt underneath.  A pair of mechanix gloves were tucked into the folds of the coveralls and Jessika could just see the end of a name patch, something that started with an R before it was lost in the folds of the fabric.  There was a grease spot on her neck, and a gold chain tucked beneath the neck of her shirt.  Her hands had that grime stained look about them, not dirty really, but in need of a long scrub if you wanted them clean.  Jessika’s father had had very similar hands.

Jessika approached her with a smile, unsure who this girl was or what she was doing here.  Maybe she was an elevator mechanic or something?  Though as she got closer and the whiff of fuel that hung around the girl made her think not.  Elevators didn’t use fuel.  Did they?  She wasn’t sure, but then Jessika wasn’t an elevator mechanic.  The girl looked up as she got closer, giving her a warm smile while she slipped her phone into a pocket.  ‘Hello.  Can I help you?” Jessilka inquired.

“Oh, no, I’m fine thank you.  Just waiting for Kylo.”  Ooo, she had an accent.  British of some type, if she wasn’t mistaken. Jessika lifted one carefully sculpted brow (She’d gone to the hairdresser a few days earlier and gotten them waxed.  Jessika had inherited her father’s eyebrows.) at the girl.  Not many people called Ren by his first name; nor did many people actually look happy to wait for him.  Jessika liked her boss, for all that he was a big, stompy, asshole sometimes, but she knew that the combination of his height, shoulder breadth, and notorious temper could cut quite the intimidating figure.  He didn’t bother her of course, but she was a special case.  She was amazing at her job.  She _color coded_.

Jess scrutinized the girl, feeling a suspicion beginning to niggle at the back of her mind.  “Alright.  He’s out on his lunch at the moment.  Did you have an appointment or anything?”  It was also unusual for Ren to have meetings in person, much preferring conference calls and the occasional video call.  Jessika had once witnessed a meeting where Ren had taken over a conference room with various screens set around the room to project the other participants, Ren poised in front of his own camera.  It’d been like something out of a Bond movie.

She rather thought Ren would make an excellent supervillain.  Hux and Phasma as well, come to think of it.

“No, no appointment.  He is expecting me though.”  The girl replied, meeting her eyes with a smile.  She reached out one slightly stained hand and tapped it against the Luke Skywalker Bobblehead Mercy had gotten her for her birthday, setting it to wobbling.  Jessika wasn’t sure what to do to be honest.  She hadn’t ever really had to vet someone before.  That was security's job.  They weren’t the most high profile, secure building ever, but information security was definitely a thing.  She had to have come from someplace, so security was either slacking, or they were aware of her presence.

Opening her mouth to ask the girl’s name, she stopped as the girl looked past her and her face, while pleasant before, lit up.  Jessika recognized the familiar tread of her boss behind her (He stomped around like an angry bear) and turned to look at his approach.

“Welcome back Sir,” she greeted Ren.  “This young lady said you were expecting her?”  Jess started, before trailing off as she studied his face and that suspicion in the back of her mind began to solidify.  He was smiling.  Actually, truly smiling.  For all that he stomped, flailed, and growled about, Jessika could count on one hand the amount of times she’d seen him smile.  More of a smirk; usually at some misfortune of Hux’s.  But no, he was definitely smiling now, at the strange, out of place girl.

The girl stepped out and around Jess, moving towards Ren with her arm outstretched.  Jess could only gape as he met her grasp, arms twining before sliding around each other’s waists.  She was used to the fact her boss had over a foot in height on her, even with heels, but she was pleased to note that even though the girl was tall, she had to stand on tiptoes _and_ Ren had to stoop a bit to kiss.

Wait.

Kissing?  They were kissing?

Jessika screamed.

The embracing couple jumped apart, hands still attached as they whirled around to stare at her.  She knew she was making a spectacle, but this had just turned into one of the _best days ever_!

Rey was a girl!

Ren wasn’t gay!

Snap owed her 50 bucks!

“OH MY GOD!” she crowed, just barely resisting the urge to dance in place.  “You’re Rey!  Aren’t you?”  Rey nodded, staring at her as if she’d grown another head.  Jessika launched herself, sliding to a stop a few inches short of barreling into them.  Gathering herself together, tucking a strand of loose hair behind an ear and smoothing any wrinkles in her skirt, she thrust a hand towards Rey.  Rey cautiously took the proffered hand, looking bemused as Jess pumped it up and down in a very enthusiastic handshake.

“I’m Jessika!  His secretary-cum-personal-assistant-cum, uhm. Whatever.  I have heard absolutely _nothing_ about you!”  Jessika beamed.   Rey blinked, turning to look at Ren who was studiously avoiding her eyes, like the wall had suddenly become the most interesting thing around.

“I’m Rey Kenobi-Solo.  His wife.”

 

\------

 

Jessika was trying very hard to stay calm, but it wasn’t easy.  She was just very, very excited.  And nervous.  Maybe some parts terrified.  Ok, mostly terrified.  She was sure she alone was causing a major disturbance in the force.  She probably shouldn’t have stayed up so late to watch Galaxy Wars last night, but she’d needed something to distract her from the fact that she was going to be a mother and would be very freaking soon.

And Holy Shit did she not know how to be a mother.  Her own mother had died when she was young and she’d been raised by her father and two older brothers.  She’d outgrown being a total tomboy in college with the advent of a helpful roommate, but putting lipstick on a pig didn’t make it a supermodel and knowing how to do her hair and makeup did not a mother make.  Besides, Mercy was having a boy anyway.  Maybe he’d grow his hair out.

Fiddling with her phone, she tapped the screen repeatedly, letting the blinking screen take up her attention.   She was trying to keep her hands busy, keep herself distracted.  Thankfully Ren was out of the office today, and all she had to do was answer the phones.  She was mostly useless and she knew it, but she had made a promise to Mercy that she would work as long as she could, when all she really wanted was to go home and wrap herself around Mercy, cradle that belly in her hands and feel their son move.  He’d been restless the last few days; probably as eager to come out as they were to welcome him in.

And she was totally becoming a sap.

The loud DING of an incoming text made Jessika cry out, phone flung across her desk as she jumped, startled.  She scrambled to grab it again, trying not to panic.  Was it time?  Had Mercy gone into labor?  WAS SHE GOING TO BE A MOTHER? Finally she managed to grab the phone, tap the unlock code and look at the text message on her screen.

Oh.  It was just Rey saying she was on her way up in the elevator.

Settling back into her seat with a sigh, she set the phone on her desk and slumped forward to mash her face into her desk.  She was probably leaving foundation on the desk, and then she’d somehow end up smearing it on her blouse or something and she was going to be a terrible mother.

That was how Rey found her, of course. She came around the desk and lay a gentle hand on Jess’s shoulder.  Jess didn’t lift her head to look at her, just rolled her forehead against the desk (Grinding more foundation into the surface, she was sure) to look at Rey out of the corner of her eye.  The girl looked much different from the last time she’d seen her, less Elevator Mechanic, more Young Professional.  Though her hands gave her away, rough and still slightly grimy.  It would take days of scrubbing to be rid of that though.

“You ok there Jess?” Rey asked, giving her a small nudge.  “Or is the desk really that interesting?”  Oh great, she had a comedian on her hands.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”

“Well, I figured we could start by you showing me how the phones work.”

“You’re hilarious.  Actually, truly hilarious.”  Jess muttered, finally rolling herself back to drape herself over her chair, letting her head flop back to stare at Rey.  Rey stood behind her, leaning over to look her in the eye.  She was smiling.

Heaving a sigh, she straightened herself in her chair and rolled slightly to the side to let Rey get closer.  She plucked the office phone out of its cradle then, swiveling and lifting the phone aloft.  She displayed it in two hands.

“This, my lovely comedian, is a phone!”  She exclaimed, voice dripping false enthusiasm.  “You answer it.”  She continued flatly.  Swiveling back towards her desk, she dropped the phone on the desk.

“You’re a terrible promotional model.”  Rey replied matter-of-factly amidst the clatter of plastic.  Jessika groaned, and put the phone back on its cradle.

“I know I’m not doing so good with the whole, ‘Show-Rey-The-Ropes deal, but I can’t even think right now.  I’m so nervous and I just want to go home and hide forever.  Or until Mercy pops.”  Great, now she was whining.

“Jess, it’s alright.  I know you’re distracted, and stressed.  But just think, soon you’ll be able to hold him, and it’ll all be worth it.”  Rey’s voice was warm and Jess stared at her, battling the sudden misty feeling behind her eyes.  She had already cried once today, before she left for work.  She wasn’t going to again, she absolutely refused.  She couldn’t risk her eyeliner running.

“Any rules I should be aware of?”  Rey broke in after a moment, likely trying to distract Jess.  This is why Rey was one of her favorite people; she always made her day better.  On meeting her boss’s wife, she hadn’t been sure what to think (Jess might have squealed in excitement when she realized who the strange girl was) but Rey was a genuinely genuine nice person and her and Jess had hit it off right away.  Rey Kenobi-Solo (Which had been a bit of a mindfuck, honestly.  She was married to Kylo Ren but had the last name Kenobi-Solo.  Jessika, being very direct, had asked about it and That Was How She Learned Her Boss’s Legal Name Was Ben Organa-Solo.  Organa as in Mayor Leia Organa, Solo as in retired racecar driver Han Solo.  Jess still had trouble wrapping her mind around that hyphen-happy family, but she understood why he’d gone for a name change) was one of her favorite people in the world.

Rey was listed as Boss Lady Light Of My Life in her phone, in fact.  Ren was Tall, Dark, and BossMan.  Mercy was Baby Momma at the moment, which Mercy didn’t find nearly as funny as Jess did.

“First Rule:  Don’t sleep with your boss.  You don’t want to be a cliché.”

“I’m not calling him my boss, he’s got enough ego.  And I already sleep with him.”  Jessika made a face at that.

“Well, keep the hanky-panky out of the office at least.”  

“I make no guarantees.”  Rey smirked.  Jessika mock gasped and smacked her lightly on the arm.

“Eww, Rey.  No.  Bad.  That’s gross.  That’s like….  Hux and Phasma getting busy levels of icky.”  Jess tittered at her own joke, though Rey suddenly seemed to find the ceiling very interesting.  She coughed slightly.

“Yes, that would be very, uhm.  Something..”  She replied after a moment, sounding a bit strangled.  While it was actually a bit of a weird thought, she didn’t think it should set Rey as off-kilter as it seemed to.  Whatever, Jessika knew she was hilarious.  “Anyway.  What’s rule two?”

“Rule Number Two--  Hang on, lemme see what this text says.”  Jessika paused, picking up her cellphone as it dinged with another incoming text.

“Rule number two is pause for texting.  Got it.”  Jess stuck her tongue out at Rey, tapping to unlock her phone again.  She felt a little thrill as she pulled the message up, seeing it was from Mercy, though it didn’t make much sense.

“The Beagle has landed?”  She read aloud.  “What the hell does that mean?”  She stared down at her phone, completely mystified.

“Maybe she wants to get a puppy for the baby?”  Rey guessed.  Lord, Jessika hoped not.  Her and Mercy had taken some classes in preparation for the baby.  What she had taken from that was to be prepared for long sleepless nights, lots of poop, lots of crying (From her and the baby, probably.  Mercy had her work cut out for her).  Throwing a puppy into the mix would probably be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Well, what’s it mean?”  Rey asked again, after a moment of silence from Jessika.  Which is when it hit Jessika like a brick, what exactly the phrase meant.  A late night conversation from a few months and a joke about code phrases.   _“We should come up with code words for stuff! ‘The Duck is out of the trunk’ when we need milk, or ‘John has a long Mustache’ whenever your mother calls.”_  She’d said to Mercy and Mercy had smiled, laughing a little. _“I can say ‘The Beagle has landed’ when I go into labor.”_

“Oh my god.”  Jessika breathed.  “Oh, oh my god.”

“What?”  Rey asked, starting to look worried.  “What’s it mean?”

“I have to go!  Rey, the Beagle has landed!  IT’S LANDED!”  She exclaimed, bolting up from her seat, sending the wheeled chair spinning away from her.  It hit the wall behind her desk with a bang.  She thrust her cellphone into Rey’s face, who crossed her eyes trying to read the too close screen.

“Jessika, what’s it mean?  Whats a Beagle have to do with anything?”  Rey looked very concerned, but Jessika was too busy flinging her stuff into her bag to answer, grabbing things from the desk left and right.  Pens, a stapler, a file folder.  She even grabbed the computer mouse, stuffing it in the bag.  She was a little more gentle with her Luke Skywalker Bobblehead, setting it lovingly in the top of the bag.

“It means the Beagle has landed!  I’m having a baby!”  Jessika was trying not to hyperventilate, without much success.  “A BABY, REY!”

“Well, yes.  We know.  We’ve known for a while now that--”

“No, I mean, Yes, but I’m having a Beagle--  I mean Bagel--  BABY, right now!”  A pad of notepaper flew past Rey’s head.

“You mean--”

“Mercy’s in labor!  I have to go to her, right now!”  Another ding sounded and Jess snatched her phone up, reading the text.  “She’s on the way to the hospital with her mom.  I have to meet her there!”

“Oh!  Well--”

“Bye Rey, thanks for doing this for me, I owe you one, tell Ren that I have to go and that I love you and that I love him, well not really but I do love you like a friend and Holy Shit I’m going to be a mom!”

“Jess, what about--”

“BYE REY!”  Jess flung her bag over her shoulder, ignoring the crash behind her as the mouse, still attached to her computer, jerked free of the bag and slammed against the front of the desk where it dangled.

Rey stared bemusedly after Jess, watching as she barreled down the hall and away from her, bumping into one halpless soul and sending a coffee to the floor with a splash.

Well.  Rey was smart.  She’d done all the office work at Han’s for years.  She could do this.  She tried not to flinch as the desk phone rang, reaching out to grab it and bring it to her ear

“Ben-- erm, I mean Kylo Ren’s office? How can I help you?”

 

\--

 

Jessika can only assume there is a disturbance in the force, because Ren is at work before her, and that never happens.  Like ever.  She had always just assumed the man enjoyed his beauty rest or something.  He was aesthetically pleasing to look at, in a weird way, with his freckles and moles and actually somewhat gorgeous hair.  Seriously, she wanted his hair for herself.  In a non-creepy way.  If she liked men, and didn’t have Mercy, and he wasn’t her boss and a whole host of other reasons, maybe she’d go after him.

At least he’d brought her a coffee, spying it sitting in the middle of her desk.  That hadn’t changed.

Approaching, she knocked gently on the door frame, looking at her boss.  He was dressed like he normally was, well cut suit and black tie, standing behind his desk with the phone cradled under his ear.  He looked up at her knock, and gestured for her to come in as he grunted at whoever was on the other end of the line.

Jessika stepped in, glancing warily around the room.  Nothing looked out of the ordinary; dark paneling, splashes of silver accents and a view of the harbor.  Still looked like an evil business magnate’s room.  Just needed a secret elevator to a shrine to Beelzebub in the basement.

Ren grunted into the phone one more time, in what passed for a goodbye for him, setting the phone in its cradle.  He looked up at Jessika, who shifted under his scrutiny.  She hadn’t even set her bag by her desk, just come straight to the office to make sure Ren wasn’t having a break down or anything.  Sure, she probably looked less professional than years past but when one had a 14 month old, one didn’t always have time to look their best.

At least it was better than when Noah had just been born.  Her dad had said he’d never seen such a grumpy, squalling baby before.  Noah had refused to fall asleep unless he was held by one of them until he was 7 months, and even then he sometimes wouldn’t unless someone was in the room with him.  Around the same time he’d started crawling, almost walking, and thus getting into everything.

And by everything, she meant everything.  The kid had the self-preservation instincts of a lemming, cliff jumping and all.

Ren interrupted her musings with a throat clear and Jessika stared blankly at him.  Had she missed something?

“Jessika, I need you to arrange for something to be sent to Hux’s office tomorrow.”  Ren started, never one for pleasantries.  Jessika nodded, pulling out a notepad to jot on.

“Yes sir.  What is it you need sent?”  She asked.  Hux had been on vacation the past week, Jess knew, as had Phasma.  Tomorrow was supposedly their first day back.  She idly wondered what either of them actually did for a vacation.  Phasma wasn’t so bad, but Hux had to be the most up-tight, close-wound person she’d ever met.  The man probably folded laundry as a hobby.  She wondered if he’d do her laundry.  Baby’s apparently created a lot of wash.  Those classes they’d done when Mercy was pregnant hadn’t really prepared her for the mountains of dirty clothing that such a small being produced.

“A congratulatory cheese platter.”  Jessika looked up from her notepad to stare at her boss.  What the hell?

“I… What?”

“A cheese platter, for Hux.  I need it sent to his office for tomorrow morning.”  Ren looked smug.  That was the only way she could describe it.  Like the cat who’d swallowed the canary.  He was also watching her like a cat wanting another canary.

“Ok, I’ll get started on that right away.”  Wasn’t Hux lactose intolerant?  She’d once drawn the short straw to make a coffee run for everyone at an out of town meeting and Hux had stressed the ‘No creamer, at all, don’t even wave it at mine, I’m lactose intolerant so be careful, Pava.’  She’d waved the half and half at his just for spite.

“Jessika, can you also find out if they can somehow spell ‘Congratulations on your Marriage Hux and Phasma’ in Gouda?”

“I can get started on that right away--”  Jessika started, then stopped abruptly as his words caught up to her brain.  She froze.  The notebook and pen dropped from her hand with a thunk and she slowly let her gaze be drawn up to stare at Ren.

The motherfucker was smirking like a… like a motherfucker.  The cat who had the motherload of canaries.  A dog who’d found a pile of dinosaur bones.  The alligator who caught the water buffalo.  The robot who found-- her idioms were running dry quickly.

Her movements were robotic as she slowly bent at the waist to pick up her dropped notebook.  As calmly as she could, she tucked it into the crook of her arm.  Resettling her bag on her shoulder, she nodded at him.

“Is that all?” she replied after a long moment.  Ren nodded, looking smug and amused and she didn’t care if he gave her Luke Skywalker himself on a platter, she was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her freak out.  “I’ll get right on-that-okbye.”

She would freak out as soon as she was out the door and he couldn't see her.  She could last that long.

Jessika scooted out the door, rounded the corner and did a jig.  The notebook hit the wall behind her, but she was too busy flailing at the ceiling, trying her hardest to not scream to care.  Hux and Phasma.  What the hell even was that?   _How_ had that happened?   _When_ had that happened?  Why did Ren know?  So many questions she had, and so many people to tell and--  She had to tell Snap, and tell Mary and Joan and Bill from security and Rey, she had to tell Rey--

It hit Jessika in a flash then, something she hadn’t thought much of at the time because she was very distracted, about the day Mercy had gone into labor.  She’d made a joke about Hux and Phasma; Rey had been awkward and--

“Shit!”  She exclaimed.  Softly.  Well as softly as she could manage.  “Holy shit, holy crap stick, Rey knew!  She knew and she didn’t tell me!”  Throwing her bag on her desk, she whipped her phone out of her pocket and stormed down the hallway.  She was going to tell Snap about this, order the fucking cheese platter and then send Rey a very capslock-filled angry text.

 

\----

 

To BossLady Light of My Life: MISTRESS REY OF SUNSHINE MY ASS KENOBI-SOLO-REN U ABSOLUTE BUTTTTT HOW COuLD U NOT TELL ME !!??

From BossLady Light of my Life: tell you what

To BossLady Light of My Life: THAT MOTHERFLIPPING STICK-SHOVED-SO-FAR-UP-HIS-ASS-HE-MIGHT-BE-A-POPSICLE-HUX N HOLY-CRABAPPLES-PLS-RAVISH-ME-MERCY-SAID-I-COULD-HAVE-A-FREEBIE-IF-SHE- GOT-TO-WATCH-PHASMA R GOT MOTHERFREAKING MARRIED?????

From BossLady Light of My Life: oh

To BossLady Light of My Life: OH?? OH IS ALL U CAN SAY??? I HAD 2 FIND OUT FROM BOSSMAN UR OVERDRAMAtIC HUSBAND CUZ HE WANTS 2 SEND THEM A CHEESE PLGAGER

To BossLady Light of My Life: PLATTER*

From BossLady Light of My Life: oh no jessika please dont let him do that. let them enjoy some peace and quiet for a little at least :( and isn't hux lactose intolerant

To BossLady Light of My Life: 2 LATE BOSSLADY IT IS SENT N GONE N HAS WORDS SPELLED IN CHEESE

To BossLady Light of My Life: GOUDA CHEESE NO LESS.

To BossLady Light of My Life: FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION U HAFT BRIUGHT AGAINST ME U R BABYSITTING NOAH SO ME N MERCY CAN HAVE DATE NIGHT FRIDAY

From BossLady Light of My Life: we have bb8 and milicent for the weekend is that ok

To BossLady Light of My Life: THATS FINE BOSSLADY <33334

 

\---

 

To Ben (ICE): were babysitting noah friday night

From Ben (ICE): But we already have the cat and the dog. Why are you throwing a baby into the mix?

To Ben (ICE): its your fault with your cheese platter stunt isnt hux lactose intolerant

From Ben (ICE): Oh. OK. Yes, he is, but it’s mostly hard cheeses.

To Ben (ICE): and think of it as practice

From Ben (ICE): Practice for what?

From Ben (ICE): Rey?

From Ben (ICE): PRACTICE FOR WHAT REY?

To Ben (ICE): ;)

**Author's Note:**

> \--Rey doesn’t use any punctuation in her texts, or capilizations. She read someplace once where you should have ICE next to the name of your emergency contact (I really added this because it made me laugh). Ben is very about the proper punctuation. Jessika texts like a drunk teenage girl and is very dramatic
> 
> \--Luke Skywalker is a Hockey player and Jessika, raised by her dad and 2 brothers was really, really into him growing up (He was an amazing player and he had amazing hair.) It takes her a long, long time to realize that that Ren is related to him and that’s his in for presents.
> 
> \--Practice for what, Indeed. *winkyface*
> 
> \--I am Rey is a Kenobi compliant.
> 
> \--I forgot what I was going to say.
> 
> \--OH right. Galaxy wars, star wars. Same diff. 
> 
> \--I hate the title for this but I seriously stared for an hour at that box before I gave up.
> 
> \--I like reusing jokes and themes. Fight me.
> 
> I have a tumblr. You can like, follow me or whatever. I don't use it much but yeah! ruuutabaga.tumblr.com


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